Photos

Please upload a pic of yourself for your thumbnail profile. Try to arrive only of y'all. If information technology is a group photo, please signal which one is you. No blurry or suggestive photos. Only click on the "Browse" push button and select the image you would like to use. Cracking, now how about you lot upload another ane? Y'all've got such a beautiful grin; why are you lot trying to hide it?

Personal Info

Date of birth:

Gender:
__ Man
__ Woman

Looking for … (Cheque one, please. Enough of this "experimenting" meshugaas from your higher days.)
__ Man
__ Woman

You go along kosher … (Select ane.)
__ at abode.
__ at habitation and outside.
__ to a caste.
__ kosher? What's kosher? Oh, and I enjoy throwing abroad centuries of tradition and culture merely because BLTs and cheeseburgers sense of taste so neat.

What type of relationship are you looking for? (Bank check all that utilize.)
__ A date.
__ A friend.
__ A wedlock.
__ A long-term relationship. (Merely plain marriage is in the foreseeable future, correct? I mean, who are we kidding here? You lot've got to grow up and raise a family sometime.)
__ Marriage and children. (Wait, didn't we have this option already? Who gets married and doesn't take children? Crazy people, that's who.)
__ Activity partner. (Please. Join a club. You don't need a dating site for this.)

What is your electric current relationship status?
__ Single.
__ Divorced.
__ Separated. I'thou not actually joining this site, because I have a wonderful wife and family that I should be trying to go on together, rather than meeting some nut halfway around the world and having "Internet sex" or whatsoever it is you people practise when yous sit at your computer for hours with the door airtight.

Do you plan on having children?
__ Aye.
__ Not sure, simply who am I kidding? Of grade.
__ No, and I'grand saying that particularly to make my mother sob uncontrollably for days. I'chiliad a horrible, ungrateful kid who doesn't empathize the joys of grandchildren.

Your smoking habits:
__ Nonsmoker.

Your drinking habits:
__ Probably as well much. Whatsoever happened to a nice cup of coffee and dessert?

Nigh-Me Essay

Instructions: Describe yourself and your personality. What are y'all passionate about? Why haven't you found a nice girl yet, and what exactly attracts you to those dumb floozies you proceed bringing to our family dinners? As if nosotros don't have plenty drama without you bringing around Bryn or Joyceline or some other girl with a proper noun we'll exist asking you to spell out months after you've broken up with her. What about Rebecca? Isn't that a nice proper name? The craziness with names these days. Everyone needs to stand up out, name their baby something special and hard to spell. Jerks. (100 character minimum.)

Background

Languages you speak when you're actually having a chat and not just mumbling at the dinner table:

Religious background:
__ Reform.
__ Conservative.
__ Orthodox.
__ Other. Probably 1 of those flaky ones where it's fine to eat pork and they gloat Christmas. Don't get me started.

What Do You Practice?

Describe what you do:

(Aye, I know I've asked yous a hundred times, but that's because you lot never explain it well. I tell my friends well-nigh you and I don't know what to tell them. I merely say, "He'southward in the arts." Is your résumé updated? Maybe at that place'due south an opening somewhere. Couldn't injure.)

Personality & Interests

How would you depict your personality? (Bank check all that use.)
__ Prissy.
__ Considerate.
__ Has a smart oral fissure.
__ Sweetness.
__ Calls mother.
__ Slouches besides much.
__ Doesn't consume enough.
__ Could stand to skip seconds of dessert.

Activities:

(And sitting in your room all day playing video games or doing that Sims affair or whatever doesn't count. Put down anything that really gets you lot into the sunlight.)

Relationships

What is your thought of the perfect get-go date?

What is your idea of the ideal human relationship?

Well, if you lot're and then dandy and wonderful and you lot know everything, why are you even so single?

- - -

Thank y'all for filling out your profile. After we review your essays to make sure the content is appropriate and yous're non only looking for another cheap slut to take out for a romantic night pounding beers that ends with a tour of the back seat of your Hyundai, nosotros'll mail it right away and you tin begin coming together thousands of Jewish singles like yourself! Oh, and your male parent wants me to tell you to make certain you lot get the oil changed in your auto. Stop making that face. I bet this is why yous're paying $35 a month to meet people when you lot could be spending that coin on a overnice shirt and peradventure a squeamish pair of slacks.